3 Things To Do If You've Lost Your Joy and Motivation
Today, I'm going to share the story of my client with her permission, whom we will call Susan. Susan is 43 years old and initially came to me with concerns about aphasia and fibromyalgia. If we know anything about fibromyalgia, the diagnosis is a set of symptoms. It is unexplainable and characterized by an undeniable lack of a clear cause that can explain the pain phenomena, which can be written off as myofascial or fibromyalgia. So, her primary concern revolved around pain, regardless of the label attached to it. That's how she presented physically. Naturally, we conducted a comprehensive physical assessment and a nutritional analysis for her.
But as we progressed through the work, it inevitably came down to her lack of joy and motivation. This often relates to what I call 'brain type,' which deals with endorphins. It's based on the pleasure-pain dynamic, where the brain is imbalanced in its output and creation of endorphins. Consequently, people tend to avoid pain and seek pleasure. That's exactly what characterizes this particular brain type.
Chemically, we observe an imbalance and distortion of endorphins—the motivating and feel-good chemicals that help alleviate pain when our bodies experience it. Consequently, food loses its appeal in taste, exercise becomes less motivating, and physical sensations are felt more intensely. For instance, a minor paper cut can cause significantly heightened pain. Emotional responses are heightened as well; you might find yourself tearing up during movies or even during sentimental commercials. You start to crave love, affection, and attention, yet can also feel conflicted about these desires.
So it's a very temperamental place to be—your life ends up boxed in, becoming more and more controlled, with a shrinking allowance for what is acceptable, not just in terms of your physical capabilities, but also in what you emotionally and mentally can handle. We become highly controlled, thinking, 'I can't go out because I'll experience too much pain. I won't join my friends for an outing or go dancing because the pain will be overwhelming. I can't even drive because of the pain.' So, I end up staying at home, engaging in these routines like therapy sessions, heating pad usage, or Epsom salt baths, fearing the pain that will come if I deviate from them. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Now, life and cells are all about expansion. As I've mentioned before, a key principle to remember is that we should mimic the cells. Cells are constantly taking in nutrients, eliminating waste, and reproducing. And during reproduction, they're consistently expanding—never stagnating or stopping. Therefore, we must also keep in mind that when we stagnate, stop, or reduce our comfort zone, we're not expanding; we're contracting. A contracted muscle is a tight muscle, and a contracted muscle tightens the myofascia—a flexible net-like structure underneath the skin.
Typically, we have good nutrients, energy, oxygen flow, and hydration in our body. The myofascial net is flexible and functions like the extracellular matrix around cells and the cellular structure inside cells. All these areas have a flexible net meant to hold cells together. Cells, essentially, are tiny individual entities that, when aggregated, form dense and compact structures like our skin or tissue. However, it's important to remember that they are originally individual beings held together by various net-like systems. When we experience contraction instead of expansion, we can relate this physical sensation to the emotional experience.
We need to start thinking about expansion, especially when dealing with a pain condition. It's not just about addressing biochemistry or brain chemistry. Merely taking glucosamine, MSM, fish oil, or other supplements known to alleviate symptoms won't suffice because we're not just aiming to alleviate the symptoms; we're after the core root issue. If you're in constant pain, there might not necessarily be a specific disease diagnosis, but there is an underlying matter that requires attention. The holistic approach to addressing the entire person is crucial.
Now in this particular case, and it's not uncommon, what her real root ended up being was this sense of loss of her joy, and motivation. And it didn't come from having to make her box smaller due to her pain. This was happening before the pain started. So keep in mind, it's not the disease that was the cause. It was the feelings that came prior to the physical manifestation.
Now, always, if you have symptoms, you need to get yourself assessed and evaluated. But don't forget to look at the whole being—consider your nervous system and the experiences and events in your life that have led up to your current state. I always ask a key question: What triggered the change? Was there anything that precipitated this? Almost always, someone can pinpoint some memory or event that occurred before the pain started. So, I have three suggestions for you.
If you feel like you have lost your sense of joy, especially women, who I've noticed tend to struggle with this more, it's likely because we often give ourselves less permission to prioritize our own needs. We're constantly at the ready and beck and call, especially for our family's needs. Later in life, when emptiness sets in, we may suddenly find ourselves lacking a sense of purpose. In fact, just this week, I can recall three clients who faced this common issue. So, if you identify with this feeling of losing your sense of joy there's three things to think about.
Number one, get your house ready. What I mean by get your house ready, you get your house ready, the house of your mind, the house of your emotion, the house of your body, the house of who you are and what you're going after, the house of you and what you what you believe about your character and what you believe about you as an existence in this world. And then also expand it to your house. What are the things that you are? Are you happy with where you're living? Are you happy with your life? Are you happy with your house? What are the things that you want to change about yourself and about your living situation that maybe you haven't changed before. The Chinese have a term for this—'shin,' a return to oneness and wholeness, reconnecting with your inner divinity, your universal center, or your higher being—whatever resonates with you. It's about realigning with the version of yourself you once knew and reconnecting with that self now.
Number two would be address concepts. You can address concepts that are present in your conscious mind—these might encompass limiting beliefs regarding what you can or can't do. Then there are the subconscious concepts, the foundational beliefs that your body automatically operates from. These are core concepts often not consciously known to us. Sometimes, doing inner work or inner child work is an effective way to access the subconscious. The subconscious communicates through emotions, so we can never separate emotion from physical healing. To establish communication with the subconscious mind, you can learn our new cognitive process. If you're in a program, you're likely familiar with Neuro-Cognizance Training. If not, you'll need to reach out and inquire about receiving this training. So, number two: address both conscious and subconscious concepts. Identify your limiting beliefs and core beliefs, evaluating if they are appropriate for your current stage in life and if they align with the new vision of your life you aspire to achieve.
Number three would be to reprioritize and realign. Once you connect with your 'shin,' your soul, your core, your wholeness, the answers tend to come naturally. You instinctively know what doesn't feel right for you and what does. You understand where you want to go, what has been bothering you, what you've outgrown, and what you're moving towards. Then, you address the concepts that might be limiting you from pursuing your aspirations. Subsequently, you reprioritize and realign your life with this new vision that you now know to be true for you.
Then adjust your daily priorities, positioning yourself to live this new life immediately. We don't have to wait for months, years, or a decade for it to manifest. We start living it now, as is.
Regarding how all of this affects your health—your body will never accept contraction. It's always on a path towards expansion. Your energy is in a constant state of growth and change; it never stagnates. The objective of energy is always to move, transform, and evolve.
So, being stuck in the mud within our little box of comfort, believing it to be true and real, may not still hold true a year ago or a year from now. We're constantly on a quest to expand; it's part of the natural evolutionary process. We shouldn't remain entrenched in our comfort zones, in who we've been, or in what we've known to be right or wrong in the past. We should allow our minds and spirits to grow and permit our bodies to move in tandem. Allow for flexibility, acceptance, and adaptability—these are all forms of movement that connect to your myofascia.
Your myofascia can sense your freedom and flexibility as you move through life with joy and motivation, prompting the endorphins in your brain chemistry to start creating for themselves. Also, when you treat your body with this flexibility, acceptance, appreciation, and gratitude, the food suddenly tastes better again. You become more appreciative of what you do have in your life, and you're excited about where you're headed. Never consider a physical syndrome as the end-all; it's just a consequence. Let's revisit and examine those root causes.